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June 27, 2005
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When I was that age, my father also taught me not to talk to strangers. Talking makes it that much harder to steal their wallets. |
Cowardly stranger-phobic Utah boy rescued
BOUNTIFUL, Utah (Based on a true story) -- In another installment of our periodic series of parenting tips, LWN presents the cautionary tale of an 11-year-old Utah boy who went missing from a Boy Scout camp last week. The boy spent four days on a wilderness trail without food, water, or Internet access.
"He had two thoughts going through his head all the time," the boy's mother told LWN. "We've always told him that 'if you get lost, stay on the trail.' So he stayed on the trail. We've also told him don't talk to strangers. When an ATV or horse came by, he got off the trail. When they left, he got back on the trail."
"What a stupid kid," said Walter Phoon, one of six hundred volunteers who scoured the countryside looking for the missing boy. "I spent thirty-six straight hours driving up and down that trail on my ATV. I must have passed within a few feet of the boy on a thousand different occasions, calling his name until I lost my voice. Now I'd like to wring his little neck, and I know five hundred ninety nine other people who feel exactly the same way."
According to parenting experts, this kind of murderous rage could have been avoided if only the boy had been taught that all strangers are friendly and safe. Some also have tasty candy, fun balloons, or puppies.
"His biggest fear was someone would steal him," said the boy's mother. "He was more afraid of that than of poisonous scorpions. Or nuclear weapons. Or nuclear powered scorpions with poison stingers. Pretty crazy, huh?"
The boy's uncle said his nephew may have been afraid to contact the strangers because they weren't using the password his family had adopted. "That password is 'cream-puff' by the way," the uncle said. "Not that it would have mattered if the search teams knew the password, because we never told the boy. We just didn't want to risk him trusting an evil stranger who also happened to be a good guesser."
The boy was discovered only after he'd grown too fatigued and injured to hide anymore. After eating and drinking, the boy regained enough strength to play a video game on one of the searchers' cell phones. The searcher happened to have a copy of the boy's favorite game, Kill All Strangers.
One of the first questions the boy asked his parents after being rescued was if the Pokemon cards he had ordered on eBay had arrived. When informed that the cards had indeed arrived, the boy asked if they had been shipped by a stranger, and if so whether he'd have to send them back unopened.
Although the boy hasn't given many details about his ordeal, he did tell his father that when he first realized he was lost, he thought about saying a prayer. However, since he'd never met God in person, he determined that the creator of the universe was yet another stranger he wasn't allowed to talk to.
Disclaimer: This story probably isn't true, names have been changed, and any quotes are most likely made up.
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