Last Week's News
Just because they're not human, doesn't mean they're not news.
Animals template

June 27, 2005

Cowardly stranger-phobic Utah boy rescued

When I was that age, my father also taught me not to talk to strangers. Talking makes it that much harder to steal their wallets.


June 21, 2005

Two helicopters disappear into mysterious East River Triangle

The East River Triangle is similar to the famed Bermuda Triangle, but not as much fun to swim in.


May 19, 2005

There's a new rat on the menu

Scientists at first believed the newly discovered species to be rare, but have since discovered medium rare or well done varieties.


May 04, 2005

Toadsplosion 2005 - Part 3 of 3

The exploding toads of Hamburg seem almost human in their enjoyment of self-destructive behavior.


May 03, 2005

Toadsplosion 2005 - Part 2 of 3

Exploding toads also make wonderful gag gifts and party favors.


May 02, 2005

Toadsplosion 2005 - Part 1 of 3

Kermit the Frog once said that it's not easy being green. It's also not easy to swell up like a balloon and blow your internal organs all over the pond.


April 29, 2005

Seeya later, aligator

To put this animal's massive size in perspective, a two-thousand pound crocodile is larger than 39 fifty-pound elephants and a toy poodle.


April 28, 2005

LWN Emergency Meeting

The phenomenon of exploding toads may be the result of a scientific project to produce a bomb that catches flies.


April 08, 2005

National Geographic debunks photo of giant pig, tiny man

Hogzilla will play opposite Shelob in an all-monster remake of Charlotte's Web.


March 17, 2005

E: All of the above

The new essay section of the SAT will test whether students can write without adding LOL or :-) after each sentence.


March 16, 2005

Tabbies to get a ten second head start

During the proposed cat-hunting season, hunters would set out bowls of milk and make mewling sounds from behind a tree.


March 14, 2005

We don't tear down heroes

The man baked a birthday cake for his monkey-- I mean, his chimp. Er...chimpanzee? No, wait, what are we calling them now, evolutionarily-challenged primates? Darn political correctness.


March 07, 2005

Gigantic sea critter dies

War hero, moonshine bootlegger, crustacean. Bubba the Lobster was all these things and more...