| ATT 124-1/2...IBM 34-3/4...LWN 1-1/4...CNN 58-7/8... |
July 14, 2005
Restaurant Wants Its Customers to Die
If you think the air in this restaurant is full of poisons, you should try the food.
July 07, 2005
Lazy Ad Agency: "Write Your Own Damn Slogan!"
And if you don't like it, you can write your own damn news story too!
June 29, 2005
Retailers jump on Grokster ruling, blame everyone for customer thefts
Under Wal-Mart's interpretation of the Grokster ruling, anyone who helps a shoplifter is themselves a shoplifter.
May 20, 2005
Live fast, leave a nicely dressed corpse
If you want to destroy my sweater, just hold this string as I jump off the Eiffel Tower...
May 12, 2005
It's bacon!
LWN does not accept product samples in exchange for positive reviews. We demand cold hard cash.
May 06, 2005
Brownie packaging puzzles, mortifies
The product's "edible baby" logo tested well among a focus group of trolls and goblins.
April 27, 2005
How big is the new Airbus A380 megajumbo jet?
The enormous jet then collapsed under the weight of its own gravity, forming a singularity.
April 19, 2005
The Burger King's phat new sandwich
For patrons unable to open their jaws wide enough to eat Burger King's new Enormous Omelet Sandwich, the item will also come in a suppository form.
April 15, 2005
I'll huff and I'll puff...
The "just add water" building improves on a previous version for which users would "just add bricks and mortar."
April 13, 2005
Apple Jack life-cycle enters new phase
In a related story, the marshmallow bits in Lucky Charms don't taste anything like orange stars, blue moons, green clovers, or purple horseshoes.
April 04, 2005
Our New Name
I don't mind that the company's changing its name, but what am I supposed to do with all these business cards?
March 24, 2005
This is not your father's ze4800mobile
Health officials warn that improper use of the new wooden laptop may cause splinters.
March 22, 2005
Smells like holy spirit
Thus answering the question, WWJSMIHWMOWAB: What would Jesus smell like if he were made of wax and burned?