| Celebrities are just like you and me, except they're made of plastic. |
July 12, 2005
Bush Promotes American Image 7.0 Upgrade
American Image 4.7 was popular in the 1950s, when it was portrayed by John Wayne in the film, "American Image 4.7 Cleans Up Dodge City".
June 24, 2005
Saddam Hussein tortured with clean underwear and Froot Loops
Saddam got to know his young American guards and even offered dating advice. His upcoming advice column, "Ask a Deposed Iraqi Dictator," will be syndicated in 350 newspapers worldwide.
June 20, 2005
LWN apologizes to Michael Jackson
FYI, this isn't a real LWN staff meeting. It's a transcript-based reinactment on the E! entertainment network.
June 13, 2005
Michael Jackson programs a computer virus
Michael Jackson's computer virus only infects operating systems that are between eight and twelve years old.
June 09, 2005
Jail prepped for Jackson
Michael Jackson's request to serve his sentence in juvenile prison was declined.
April 07, 2005
Prosecutor: "Blake is a bad man and the jury's a bunch of doody-heads"
Have you heard the one about the stupid jury? They had to invite an alternate into the deliberation room in order to count to thirteen!
March 15, 2005
Dave Matthews dumps on fans
Poo dumped from the Dave Matthews Band tour bus is certified organic, gluten-free, soy-based, and contains no genetically modified organisms.
March 08, 2005
Disappointment for "Million Dollar Baby"
I didn't actually see "Catwoman", but with a former Academy Award winner in the title role I was surprised it didn't at least get nominated.