| We fought the law reporting and the law reporting won. |
July 14, 2005
Restaurant Wants Its Customers to Die
If you think the air in this restaurant is full of poisons, you should try the food.
June 29, 2005
Retailers jump on Grokster ruling, blame everyone for customer thefts
Under Wal-Mart's interpretation of the Grokster ruling, anyone who helps a shoplifter is themselves a shoplifter.
June 28, 2005
US Supreme Court demands virgin sacrifice at full moon
The ancient Romans also forbid displays of the Ten Commandments inside the courtrooms of the time.
June 24, 2005
Saddam Hussein tortured with clean underwear and Froot Loops
Saddam got to know his young American guards and even offered dating advice. His upcoming advice column, "Ask a Deposed Iraqi Dictator," will be syndicated in 350 newspapers worldwide.
June 09, 2005
Jail prepped for Jackson
Michael Jackson's request to serve his sentence in juvenile prison was declined.
June 02, 2005
LWN refuses to identify anonymous source as Jason Bollinger
Ed's so dumb, he thinks an anonymous source is something you put on spaghetti.
May 30, 2005
Old lady abuses 911 -- 20 times!
This unfortunate incident could have been avoided if the emergency speed-dial button was programmed to call a pizzeria.
May 11, 2005
Terror wears a dress
It seems that al-Qaeda also has a "don't ask, don't tell" recruitment policy.
April 07, 2005
Prosecutor: "Blake is a bad man and the jury's a bunch of doody-heads"
Have you heard the one about the stupid jury? They had to invite an alternate into the deliberation room in order to count to thirteen!
March 16, 2005
Tabbies to get a ten second head start
During the proposed cat-hunting season, hunters would set out bowls of milk and make mewling sounds from behind a tree.