| You used to hear a lot about mad scientists, before they all started taking Prozac. |
June 17, 2005
Terri Schiavo's parents disregard autopsy report, remain hopeful
Sometimes a news story just won't die. Even when you unplug the news feeds, it just lingers on and on and on...
June 14, 2005
Hidden dangers associated with giant steps, walking on the Moon
In addition to sudden proton storms, other dangers of walking on the Moon include inadequate sunscreen, a lack of oxygen, and spontaneous Sting concerts.
June 13, 2005
Michael Jackson programs a computer virus
Michael Jackson's computer virus only infects operating systems that are between eight and twelve years old.
June 07, 2005
The Future of Comet Catalina
I'll have a supersized glass of destruction, please. With extra ice!
May 19, 2005
There's a new rat on the menu
Scientists at first believed the newly discovered species to be rare, but have since discovered medium rare or well done varieties.
May 16, 2005
The Future of Newspapers
In the paperless future, birdcages will be lined with LCD screens.
May 13, 2005
Random junk assembled into scientific breakthrough
The major advance in applied optical cryptography earned the team a MacGuyver Innovation Award, to be assembled from rubber bands, thumbtacks, and a paper cup in 30 seconds or less.
May 09, 2005
We try not to "scoop" major news outlets
The first newspaper to own a time machine will be able to publish tomorrow's Dilbert today!
May 04, 2005
Toadsplosion 2005 - Part 3 of 3
The exploding toads of Hamburg seem almost human in their enjoyment of self-destructive behavior.
April 27, 2005
How big is the new Airbus A380 megajumbo jet?
The enormous jet then collapsed under the weight of its own gravity, forming a singularity.
April 26, 2005
Time traveler attends "once in a lifetime event" for the third time
The Time Traveler Convention, if successful, will be held again at exactly the same time.
April 18, 2005
Colorado detectors save lives
Colorado detectors also prevent snow and block reruns of the Boulder-based TV series "Mork & Mindy."
April 15, 2005
I'll huff and I'll puff...
The "just add water" building improves on a previous version for which users would "just add bricks and mortar."
April 14, 2005
Car runs on air, news network runs on petrochemical ads
The only drawback of a car that runs on air is having to blow it up again every 500 feet.
April 12, 2005
The Future of Death
Terri's Law II will direct the federal courts to keep everyone alive forever by any means available.
April 08, 2005
National Geographic debunks photo of giant pig, tiny man
Hogzilla will play opposite Shelob in an all-monster remake of Charlotte's Web.
April 06, 2005
Protests erupt outside volcano film screening
Responding to the demand for creationist-friendly IMAX films, Mel Gibson will be producing The Passion of Isaac Newton.
March 24, 2005
This is not your father's ze4800mobile
Health officials warn that improper use of the new wooden laptop may cause splinters.
March 18, 2005
Tiger win signals move toward normalcy
When Tiger Woods lost his top golf ranking, we knew it had to be either due to planetary misaligntment or a voodoo curse.