Last Week's News
Whatever your parents listen to as they shake their heads and say, "That's not music" -- that's music!
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July 04, 2005

Live 8 Concerts End Poverty Forever

Halfway through REM's set, George W. Bush suddenly understood the benefits of debt forgiveness. Then he got distracted by a beach ball passing through the audience and lost his train of thought.


June 20, 2005

LWN apologizes to Michael Jackson

FYI, this isn't a real LWN staff meeting. It's a transcript-based reinactment on the E! entertainment network.


June 13, 2005

Michael Jackson programs a computer virus

Michael Jackson's computer virus only infects operating systems that are between eight and twelve years old.


June 09, 2005

Jail prepped for Jackson

Michael Jackson's request to serve his sentence in juvenile prison was declined.


June 08, 2005

Ambivalence toward Coldplay physically impossible

Liam Gallagher refused to talk to us about 'X&Y,' insisting that we'd once again confused Coldplay with Oasis. What a kidder!


March 15, 2005

Dave Matthews dumps on fans

Poo dumped from the Dave Matthews Band tour bus is certified organic, gluten-free, soy-based, and contains no genetically modified organisms.